I was recently asked online by a novice Dom what is my psychological motivation to be a Dominant. It inspired this article. This was my response…
First and foremost, I am not Dominant by affect or roleplay. It is my true base nature… all the time; in my professional life, in personal life and in my sexual life. It’s not a facade that I put on just during a Domination session.
With the maturity of years, numerous long-term relationships and many sexual experiences comes a much deeper understanding of the nature of relationships, sexual attraction and the power dynamics between men and women. In the process of recognizing and embracing my own kinky Dominant sexuality, I started to see recurring patterns of a specific dynamics in my relationships with women. I started to see and understand the entire forest and recognize the different segments within the forest, not just the individual tree standing in front of me.
What I realize is most men struggle to attract, seduce and have sex with women their whole lives. Most men endlessly pursue women where women hold their sexual power over them. Most men use money, power, status, athletic ability, sexual ability and physical attractiveness as their key attributes for attracting women. These are excellent tools for initial attraction and are very effective for large segments of women.
However, these tactics don’t seduce the mind of a woman, the largest & most power sexual organ. The seduction of the mind of women lies with self-confidence, intellect, ability to communicate, integrity, trust worthiness and sense of humour (a proxy for intellect + self-confidence). In my experience, many women need their minds seduced much more than their eyes or their bodies, especially highly educated women of advanced intellects and submissive women who crave to be dominated. If you seduce the mind, the body eagerly follows…
Domination/submission is one of the most common sexual fantasies amongst women. Being forced to perform depraved sexual acts and “being forced to be a slut” by an overpowering man allows any “Good Girl” to do “Bad Things” because they had no choice and no control in the situation. It wasn’t their idea. This lack of control allows women to maintain the integrity between their own depraved sexual desires and all their “Good Girl” personas they maintain in public: girlfriend/wife, mother, daughter, sister, neighbour, co-worker, employee, professional, business leader and community member.
Domination is not about seizing control from women, it’s about the seduction of women’s minds whereby women wants to eagerly give you control of their bodies to fulfill deep, secret sexual desires, that they have had all their lives to be controlled and devoured by a “Bad Man” .
Being a Dominant alpha male gives me power over women in public and in private. They are usually drawn to my quiet, calm but highly confident presence. The attraction is based on the masculine energy I project. I often say very little and I speak in a deep masculine voice. I stare intensely at women in the eyes when speaking to them. They are drawn by my intense masculinity and physical presence. In professional settings, women are drawn by my intellect, my integrity and my ability to communicate, especially when I do public speaking at industry conferences. They are also drawn to my alpha male power over other men to lead them or intimidate them. They are drawn to my ability to be bold and to take charge in my professional life as an indication of man I am in private.
So, why am I a Dominant? I love having sexual power over women’s minds and bodies. I love to strip away the public facade of a “Good Girl” or “Sophistucated Lady” to reduce a woman to “My Insatiable Fucktoy”, eager to do anything I desire for my own pleasure. I crave her deep sexual desire to be this wildly sexual being exclusively for me based on a deep emotional connection with me and complete trust in me. She cannot be this wildly sexual being with other men; it is our connection that unleashes her sexually. Unlike in any vanilla relationship that I have experienced, the depth of trust and emotional connection is amazing and is the most incredibly fulfilling aspects of being a Dominant. The sex is pretty amazing as well… 😉
I love the erotism of the public vs. private contradiction. I love treating her as my cherished Queen, as a devoted gentleman in public and as my insatiable whore in private. I love having that very erotic & deeply intimate shared secret with a woman. I love the eroticism of contradiction between our public personas and our private sexual reality. That’s incredibly hot and erotic to me…
As a Dominant, I love knowing that I am playing the sexual game at a different level than most men. I love that my intellect and my ability to observe relationships and male/female dynamics has discerned the entire game. Most men are like mice in a maze blindly struggling to find the cheese, whereas I can see the entire maze and I have discerned how to make the cheese come to me. It may sound extremely egotistical (and frankly it is highly egotistical), but I love being the smartest man in any room about sex, seduction and women. I love knowing that my mind has given me something that men with status, power, money and good looks cannot buy but desperately crave; the insight & ability to seduce a woman’s mind.
Why am I a Dominant online? I love that I shared all my mind’s insights freely with the world online via my blog rather than monetizing my insights in a book that people would have to buy. I love that my character chose to give back to the world rather than hoarding my knowledge for personal monetary gain – in return, my blog has brought me many amazing rewards in terms of new connections and friendships. I love that I wrote my blog based on my personal insights primarily to help others to be safe as they enter this BDSM world. I love that my blog and my insights will exist beyond the years I will be here on earth.
To learn more about Sensual Domination as a Dominant or as a submissive, read these articles:
What is Sensual Domination? https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/psychology-of-submission/what-is-domination/
Building Her Up!: Nurturing A Confident, Vivacious Sensual Submissive https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/psychology-of-submission/building-her-up/
What Are Your Submissive Triggers? https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/psychology-of-submission/what-are-your-submissive-triggers/
Noun Sex: “Hot Button” Words That Ignite The Submissive Libido https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/psychology-of-submission/noun-sex/
Pre-Foreplay: Arouse The Mind, Then The Body Follows Eagerly https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/psychology-of-submission/pre-foreplay/
#SensualDomination #DominantSoul #BDSM #DomTraining