Documenting BDSM Consent: The Jian Ghomeshi Case

Blowing her mind psychologically...As a Dom who has practiced consensual BDSM (rough sex, choking, spanking, bondage, anal sex, throat fucking, facials, forced orgasms) since my early twenty’s, the recent firing of Jian Ghomeshi, a nationally-renowned radio/tv host in Canada, from the CBC for practicing rough sex and BDSM, sent a chill down my spine. His private sex life got him fired, tainted his professional reputation and got him publicly outed…

I am neither saying Jian Ghomeshi is innocent of the accusations of non-consensual violent sex nor am I saying his female accusers are telling the truth. As an experienced Dom, I am merely saying that this serves as an excellent real-life case regarding the importance of a Dom/sub contract, especially with new or occasional play partners, for documenting BDSM consent and for documenting the scope of sex acts included in consensual BDSM play. This protects both parties involved:

  • It provides a clear and concise written record of what the boundaries/limits of consensual BDSM play are for both parties involved. This eliminate any misunderstandings and scary surprises during play to ensure everyone’s emotional and physical safety.
  • It ensures that neither party can accuse the other  party of misconduct or non-consent at some later date. It also ensures neither party can blackmail the other at a later date.

Something to think about… Play safely out there everyone…

~DominantSoul

Examples of a Dom Submissive Contracts:

Here are two different perspectives on the Jian Ghomeshi case:

 

2 comments on “Documenting BDSM Consent: The Jian Ghomeshi Case

  1. Honestly this is misleading. I agree that having clear limits and goals is essential, but it is in no way legal protection. BDSM or sexual contracts do not hold up in court. I personally have reported rape with evidence that I was previously promised no sexual advances. That evidence was not considered helpful and nice car was closed as “unfounded”.
    Regardless of contract or other agreement, any player can verbally withdraw consent at any time and the activity needs to end or it is no longer consensual and therefore assault.
    This isn’t someone’s kinks getting them in trouble. This is someone harming others and breaking the law and getting in trouble. There’s a very clear distinction.
    Ghomeshi was acquitted because his many accusers were ill advised of best reporting practices regarding communication with each other and the media. Because they supported each other and were not publicly silent, they were not considered credible. That’s how he got away with it.
    It was not because he was proven innocent.
    That’s what should send shivers down your spine.

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    • I know nothing about this case or it’s participants, so I cannot comment about it. Add to that, I am new to the world of bdsm.
       From that view, it seems to me, that anyone involved in bdsm will have a difficult time with anything remotely control based that comes to the public scrutiny. The world in general really has limited information or understanding of the lifestyle and practice. How could anyone expect to find a jury of peers? It’s not logistical. The dominant will begin from a space of “the abuser”.. especially in this day of “me too”.
       However, I have been the unwilling participant in multiple types of abuse; verbal and physical, all outside of anything bdsm, throughout my 50yrs experience as a human. So I do have some knowledge there. My last relationship ended in a domestic violence situation. The district attorney instructed me to “keep silent”. I shared all my evidence.. physical, video, eyewitness, documentation of behavioral patterns WITH THE DA ONLY… I cooperated fully and completely honestly as a witness.
      In the public, I was ripped to shreds by his camp. I had to ignore it and trust in the process. That is extremely difficult to do and I ended up leaving social media completely.
      There are two ways to try someone. The public eye and the legal. Different rules and different outcomes.
      In the legal eye and the community view, anything bdsm will be tainted: extreme, dangerous, and taboo. Even the woman, (assuming her role as victim) will face the stigma of slut and “asking for it” in a renewed and twisted version. BDSM/abuse cases must be some of the most difficult.
      Our own beliefs, hypocrisies, right or wrong, are called into question. As a woman that’s been violated sexually, I have a hard time comprehending that a man can be violated too. Even if it’s my own grown son telling me. As a woman that’s been beaten physically and fought against it, I have a hard time believing a stronger Male could be beaten by a female. These are personal experiences that taint my core view, no matter how introspective I might be, it’s programmed in. Someone like me would be weeded out of a jury pool, I could not possibly give an unbiased opinion.
      The general vanilla public will struggle to understand any of this consent, non consent, CNC, and the differences. No matter how it resolved, it seems beneficial to provide any documents to substantiate your view. A contract is certainly a safe guard I would take.

      Like

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