There are many misconceptions about Sensual Domination and BDSM. The most common misconception about Domination is that it is about the degradation and abuse of women.
Unless you understand the nature of a Sensual D/s relationship, you would think that degradation and abuse is the purpose of the relationship when looking from the outside. It is completely counter-intuitive that the path to nurturing the sensual submissive desires within a woman is to build her self-confidence and make her feel beautiful, sexy, cherished and deeply desired… It makes absolutely no sense on the surface. It is clearly an intellectual contradiction that most ordinary people cannot grasp without experiencing it for themselves.
This is a complex and confusing onion to understand. So let’s first peel back a few layers to help understand the foundation of the dynamics at play. Let’s forget that about the naughty man with the whip/paddle/hand (i.e Me) involved in this relationship and focus solely on the psychology of the woman and her sexual needs & desires. Secondly, let’s forget this woman is wildly kinky and her desires are to feel “owned” and “used” by a man sexually. Let’s imagine she is a very average woman who craves completely vanilla sex with just her BF/husband/partner, just she wants a lot more passionate love-making.
How would you advise this completely ordinary vanilla woman how to feel sexier and more able to express her sexual desires? Would you recommend she do such things as?
- Buy a new sexy dress and shoes
- Go to the spa to pamper herself
- Get a new hair style
- Buy some sexy lingerie that flatters her body shape
- Achieve a personal goal or pursue a personal interest
What do all these have in common? Hopefully the light bulb just went on in your head. The foundation is self-confidence. Confidence is the essence of sexy. It is the energy we exude that draws people to us. Regardless of the nature of her sexual desires, to make any woman feel sexier, you must build up her self-confidence. That is the key to understanding how to nurture a beautiful insatiable, uninhibited vixen from within any woman with submissive desires. She is just a woman at the core…
Scars From Your Life Journey:
In your journey through life, our former partners, friends and family have a way of permanently scarring us with their words. These cruel words permanently alter our self-perception – our looks, our sex appeal, our body, our weight, our sexual ability. These emotional scars manifest as inhibitions, a lack of confidence, aversions or “emotional landmines” that set us off.
Part of being a good Sensual Dom is being able to recognize and remove the psychological obstacles in the way of a woman feeling highly self-confident, highly sexual and highly desired.
You may want to reference my earlier article: Hierarchy of Female Emotional Needs for Sex: Unleashing Her “Inner Vixen” https://dominantsoul.wordpress.com/self-understanding/unleashing-her-inner-vixen/. It may be a useful tool for diagnosing the emotional needs of a submissive and your relationship with her.
Seeing Her Own Beauty Through My Eyes:
One fun way I start to change the self-perception of a submissive woman is shopping for a special outfit to dress her up for me (sexy lingerie, stockings, CFM heels, make up, jewelry). The process of shopping together for her special outfit ensures her mind is aroused for several days in advance which serves to extend mental foreplay of anticipation out to several days in advance of our intimate meeting. In the process of dressing up, a woman feels very beautiful, highly self-confident, desired and extremely aroused.
The second thing I do is I take a series of beautiful, erotic photos of her all dressed up in lingerie so she sees her own beauty captured through my eyes. That is a simple feedback loop from me to her of sexual energy that builds up a woman’s self-esteem.
Lastly, we play an erotic role-play game during the end of the photoshoot whereby her objective is to pose in increasingly suggestive poses that make me so horny that I want to put down the camera and ravage her…
This simple role-play has four powerful outcomes:
- I capture her most sexual self in stunningly beautiful photos that make her feel beautiful, sexy and desired.
- She escapes the mental restraints of her ordinary life to role-play a highly confident & highly sexually expressive woman
- She is so mentally aroused by the whole process for several days, she experiences incredibly powerful orgasms
- We have incredibly hot, wild sex and create beautiful sexy photos as memories which makes everyone happy to do this again.
The Longer Journey:
Building up a person’s self-confidence is not a quick fix but this is a good starting point to build from. It takes consistent love, support and encouragement over time for someone to accept themselves and to see their own value… Praise costs us nothing to give but it is priceless to the recipient – praise profusely and often. Remember, it is a process over time; not an event…
By building up the sexual confidence of a submissive, she feels increasingly powerful to freely express her sexual desire. So now you should see that Sensual Domination is not an act of abuse and degradation of women. It is an act of great caring and love of a woman. Only a man who truly loves, cherishes and appreciates women could unleash them sexually.
Please comment or “Like” or “Share” this article… If this article raises questions in your mind, please leave a comment. I look forward to discussing these ideas with like-minded people. If you want to stay informed of future writings, send me a friend request.
- What’s Stops You From Expressing Your Wildest Sexual Desires? (dominantsoul.wordpress.com)
- Dominants vs. Female Abusers – Spotting Posers and Predators… (dominantsoul.wordpress.com)