What is it about someone whispering in your ear that arouses us so intensely? Is it the deep intimacy of someone being so close, the erotic sensation of warm air on our ear or is there something deeply erotic about a shared hushed secret? Regardless, I don’t know anyone who does not find erotic talk arousing…
As many of you know, I believe the mind is our largest sex organ. Second only to sensual passionate kissing, dirty talk is probably the most powerful tool for arousing the mind. Erotic talk during foreplay arouses the mind and heightens the body’s sexual response beyond all belief. Unfortunately, lots of people feel nervous, shy or uncomfortable about talking dirty… Who doesn’t remember the episode of “Friends” where Ross Geller is pressured to talk dirty while making out with a really hot date so he nervously blurts out, “Vulva!”… LOL. Which completely killed the moment – Not the desired outcome at all… Epic fail.
Not to worry. Even for the terminally shy, talking dirty can be easy to pull off so you look like a smooth operator…
Simple Tips for Giving Great Dirty Talk:
- Place your lips so close they occasionally tickle the tiny hairs of her ear. Your breath will tickle her and give her chills.
- Caress her ear lobe with the tip of your nose. More chills!
- Speak in soft, low tones. Make her want to move closer to you to hear every detail of what you are saying.
- Enunciate each word clearly. Slow delivery makes her hang on each word.
- Relax and speak with calm confidence. Calm assertive energy is the essence of Dominance – A confident, calm tone will put you in the driver’s seat of her mind…
- Paint a vivid mental picture in her mind with small, slow brush strokes with your words. Describe in detail how she makes you feel and what you want to do to her step-by-step.
- Start out slow to see how she reacts to you talking dirty with door openers like “I want to taste you” or ” I want to feel your wetness on the tip of my fingers” or “Even Good Girls need a spanking on occasion… Are you a “Good Girl or a “Very Bad Girl”?”.
- To access her primal animal desires, give a low deep growl in her ear. Watch her shiver. If you are a woman, try purring in a man’s ear to watch him squirm.
- To evoke a deeply emotional response and an intimate bond, say something deeply intimate and romantic like “Your smile in best thing in my life” or “You make me want to be a better man for you”. Obviously the goal here is to be heartfelt and sincere not shallow and crass so don’t steal lines from hollywood movies. Take the time to think of something original and personal from your heart.
- Most people don’t know what to say so to make it simple for you when you first start out, describe how you want to slowly undress her – describe how you will remove each garment of her clothing in detail, then how you will slowly touch and tease each part of her body, then describe where you want to have her in the room (sitting on, bent over, lying on top of, etc), then how you want to have her in different ways (positions, sex acts).
- As you get more confident and experienced, describe in detail a sexual fantasy you have involving her specifically that reflect your mutual desires (at her place, at her workplace, adventures on planned holiday together, her dressed in a corset and over-the-knee boots, her cooking dinner naked in in heels with just your white dress shirt, watching a girl/girl scene with her sexy college roommate, etc.).
- Your two hands are completely free. Use them wisely. Instead of predictably focusing on reaching second base (Her breasts), softly caress her skin all over by slowly drawing your fingertips across her skin. Arouse her skin everywhere – arms, shoulders, back, thighs. Goosebumps are an excellent sign.
- Voila! You have just thrown gasoline onto your smoldering fire…
Foreplay should be like a gourmet meal you savor each delicious course, not fast food you gulp down to reach the “Happy Meal Toy” at the end. Just like a good gourmet meal, knowing when to serve the salad, soup and cheese plate is key to making the experience flow seamlessly. Knowing when and where to introduce dirty talk is essential…
So don’t rush any phase of foreplay. Start by slow soft sensual kissing. Be creative and erotic with how you dance together with you lips and mouths. Like dancing the tango, varying tempos, varying pressure and throw in some fun playful surprises like biting her lower lip or softly sucking on her tongue… When I feel the time is right (usually indicated by how hard she is breathing or how passionately she is kissing), then I take hold of her roughly by pulling her head back by the hair or hold her still by grasping her by her throat gently with my hand. I then whisper in her ear, “Who is my naughty girl?”… Once she sheepishly admits that she is my naughty girl, I know she is in the right submissive sexual mindset for what I have planned next… I then kiss my way up her neck to her ear. Then I describe to her in great explicit detail, in my calm, deep voice, what I plan to do to tease and toy with her for the next few hours until she becomes a wildly uninhibited vixen begging to be fucked… When I know I have her boiling over, I then love to pull her head back by her hair or pull her panties aside to roughly to feel how wet her pussy has become…
Suddenly, there is no need to slow down for second base as she waves you in for home plate… Congratulations, you just upped your game… Relax, laugh together and have fun out there everyone…. 😀
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