Can He Handle Your Sexuality?

The Sexy Dress Test…

As an admirer and aficionado of confident, sexy women, I fear many of them consistently choose the wrong kind of man for themselves but they don’t really know why…

Actress Diane Lane

Actress Diane Lane – Looking Smoking Hot at 40+

I believe “Sexy” is an attitude, not a dress size. I believe all women can be sexy. It is the presence that a woman projects when she carries herself into a room. Confidence is the raw essence of sexy – it is the energy that draws people to you… The challenge for women who are sexy and confident is what kind of man can handle being with them.

You would think that most men want sexy confident women as partners… Yes and NO! Most men are drawn to, covet or pursue sexy, confident women. The real problem for sexy, confident women is most men cannot handle having a sexy women once they win them over. Men constantly fear they will eventually lose this sexy, highly sexual woman to another man – many male sexual insecurities kick in! In the end, most men fear they cannot satisfy the needs of a highly sexual woman or stop the constant advances of other men upon a beautiful partner.

There are two main types of men who pursue sexy, confident women aggressively and they often look very similar to each other but they are quite different psychologically: Dominant (self-confident) vs. Domineering (controlling, manipulating, bullying). They both project a very confident, take-charge nature about themselves.

How can a woman tell what kind of man she is involved with???

The Sexy Dress Test:

  • Choose an important public social event you plan to attend as a couple (Wedding, Charity Gala, Friend’s Birthday, etc)
  • Select a sexy dress that shows off your form with a few sexy features that will draw the attention of other men (Long slit showing lots of leg, open back showing lots of exposed skin, cleavage to show off your girls)
  • Model the sexy dress and come-fuck-me heels you plan to wear several weeks in advance of the event to gauge his reaction:

Gauging Your Partner’s Reaction:

  1. Your man is thrilled by how sexy you look and cannot wait to show you off – Then you likely have a very self-confident Dominant man who is not threatened by your sexuality and sex appeal to other men.
  2. Your man is upset that you are dressed “like a whore”, you have sexually insecure Domineering man who likely cannot handle your sexuality. He fears you will leave him for another man so he tries to suppress you emotionally, sexually and financially
  3. His reaction is Indifference. The emotional connection between you as a couple is broken. There are other dynamics at play here.

If you are with a man who cannot handle your sexuality, you need to discuss/address his sources of sexual insecurity or finding a new relationship which is more accepting and nurturing of your sexuality.

Please comment or “Like” or “Share” this article… If this article raises questions in your mind, please post a comment. I look forward to discussing these ideas with like-minded people. If you want to stay informed of future writings, please subscribe to email alerts or twitter.


10 comments on “Can He Handle Your Sexuality?

  1. “The real problem for sexy, confident women is most men cannot handle having a sexy women once they win them over.”

    Truer words have rarely been said, I still truly do not understand this need to wipe out the confidence and sexuality in a woman, what they were attracted to in the first place.

    Liked by 1 person

      • I am far more confident in other aspects of my life, career than sexually. Dressing this way would never be a source of confidence for me. I wish it could be, but it would be more like worrying how I’m managing to stay in a dress like this versus feeling confident at all. Or, rather, “I can’t wear a dress like that. I’m not a size2-4.” I have worn shorter skirts in the past. I have nice legs, trim ankles. I am very busty, not tall and thin. I think To get through such an evening ordeal, I would put on the Ice Queen face I’ve been occasionally accused of. If I’m not giving a presentation, I don’t want to be the Center of attention. This would definitely be a terrifying ordeal. People would think I’m an extrovert, but really, I have been trained through years of performance training to be one. Make the dress eggplant purple, with a long sheer sleeve, a heart shaped neckline, and a slit to my thigh and I could pretend to be sexy and confident, just as if I was acting in a play. Remove half the dress and it’s an impossible situation. In fact, I simply wouldn’t make it out the door.

        I am a very confident person when dressing in career or cocktail party clothing. I worked for my three degrees, and I’ve had some career highs. I’ve traveled, given presentations in three countries. I’ve enjoyed more than a few cultures. But I truly am a classic dresser. I attend my husbands company parties in appropriate dress. I put on my public face, and enjoy. This would not be considered in either category. Actually, I don’t know where I would wear a dress like this.
        First husband would probably be a 2. I learned to hide the real me for 11 years. It was imperative to do so for many reasons, including mental health and safety. Second husband: hmmm. I don’t usually hide, but our lifestyle is very different where we live these days. There hasn’t been a place to “dress up” to this degree. I think the last time I was in something this formal was at our wedding. No, no open back. But form fitting, sleeveless.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Same here. While I’m very confident, I don’t think I could ever dress like that. Anything molding(even in the slightest), or revealing, will probably be a hard limit for me, hehe… I just don’t believe in the whole “if you have it flaunt it” philosophy. I would rather be a mystery, a rebel of sorts…


  2. Nearly ALL the men I have been with have been threatened by my sexuality. It is so awesome to finally here the truth of the matter from another man. The more I understand myself and that it is okay to be this way, the better choices I can make as I sift through the sea of men in the ocean! 🙂


  3. Stuck in between 1 and 3. I’ve always been his ‘trophy’ wife. He is used to me getting attention and has zero issue with that. He’s ok with my flirtatious personality etc. The way he sees it, i guess, is that at the end of a day i’m coming home with him. And the pattern is this. 1 in public and 3 at home. All the time. Almost like he shows off his toy to others, then just puts it back in a closet and forgets all about it. 9 years.


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