Alpha Subs: How To Find A Dom?

I have received hundreds of emails from alpha submissives looking for my advice on how to find a Alpha Male Dominant they can submit to for life. Here is my simple dating process for alpha submissives.

  • Register on (Pay sites eliminate most cheating married men. Also mainstream online dating sites are actually where all the kinky people are. There 10 time the people there to draw from – Every submissive I have a serious relationship with over the last ten years was from, Not FetLife!)
  • Write a profile with the Headline “Alpha Female Seeks Alpha Male Strong Enough To Make Her Purr…” – this 50% target marketing promotion and 50% filter. It will resonate with Alpha Males and screen out all weak or submissive Beta males looking Domme females.
  • Add 5 recent sexy but classy photos of yourself taken by a GF – business suit, sundress, cocktail dress, christmas party dress, sexy halloween costume, gym clothes. No cleavage, bikini or lingerie pics because you will be flooded with idiots looking for a hookup. No selfies unless your are 17 year old girl. Most men barely read profiles so your photos needs to target your kind of man so your photos need to also reflect your life & style (interests, activities. social life). Men respond most to smiles so you may want to put on your best smile & fave lipstick for your photos.
  • Be clever and subtle, not blatant about what you are looking for. No Dom/sub/slut/fucktoy/sex words or you will be flooded with idiots who will waste your time. Use code words like “Take control” “In charge” “Alpha male”, “passionate and spontaneous” “open-minded and adventurous”….
  • Set your selection criteria for a Dom and Partner, in terms of personal qualities, character, Dom experiences, skills, process for training subs and kinky interests.
  • Screen all inquiries aggressively against your selection criteria
  • Converse online with a shortlist of candidates
  • Have a surprise phone calls around 10pm with each candidate during the weekend.
  • Arrange face to face meetings on Friday or Saturday nights only to eliminate married or attached men.
  • Meet their male friends.
  • Instantly eliminate any candidate based lies and inconsistencies in behaviour or inconsistencies in terms of their past (education, finances, past relationships, criminal behaviour)… Trust, loyalty and commitment is what you require and what you are offering to be their Alpha submissive. Accept nothing less that what you deserve. Take a flamethrower to all players, big talkers and idiots immediately.

Your goal here is Quality over Quantity – Meet as few people in person as possible to avoid wasting your time and money. Screen aggressively. Get to a “No” quickly to eliminate candidates prevents you from wasting time with dead ends that will not work out in the long run and waste your time.


Related Article:

Alpha Female & Submissive Vixen: Two Sides of One Coin…

14 comments on “Alpha Subs: How To Find A Dom?

  1. Hello there! I’m attempting to rework my profile to reflect some of the things you mentioned in this post and I am having trouble finding ANYTHING that says Dom/partner in the parameters… Aside from putting these words in my headline (which I do not want to do) I don’t know what to do… any help/advice would be much appreciated. Thank you!


    • Seriously? I guess this where you want to use want use one of your three life lines instead of thinking harder??

      It’s YOUR dating profile… Perhaps it’s worth investing just little more effort…

      Liked by 2 people

  2. First I want to say how much I enjoy your posts. I’ve been out of the dating scene for awhile and am new to BDSM so it’s great to read posts by someone who has been doing this for awhile. I really resonate with the idea of sensual domination. I’m curious at what point you exchange personal information with a sub and what types of information you exchange. I recently started chatting with a guy online and we met once for a beer but I don’t have any contact info (we chat on Kik) but he wanted to come to my house for sex. I didn’t feel this was a good idea b/c he would know where I live while I don’t know anything about him. I’m not even sure the name he uses on Kik is really his name. I probably overreacted but I asked for a photo of his driver’s license…i really just wanted to verify his name…and he was rather unhappy with me. I get that was probably extreme but mostly I just want to be safe so I’ve asked for us to spend more time together in public places before moving to a private location. I don’t have any desire to be another woman chopped up and tossed in a dumpster like recently happened in Seattle.


    • I tried something similiar to this a few years back with very little luck; however, one might have more luck living in urban centres. I’m in Niagara falls…plenty of tourists and very few males with any “leadership” qualities. Hmmmm. Maybe I’ll on Trip Advisor.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have tried many sites over the years had dates so on. I dress up keep up myself but I have large bust maybe I have to hide that some pictures. I put myself but the wrong kind keep leaking in.


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