My Training Rules for Submissives & Babygirls

The purpose of this article is to illustrate how a Dom or Master would translate long-term training goals (mental and sexual conditioning) into daily/weekly activities of a submissive. A submissive follows all these rules to prepare herself for a session and/or to please her Master. I should be clear that this type of psychological training is for long-term committed relationships (i.e. Master/slave) or ongoing long-term Dom/subs rather than casual or occasional BDSM play partners . The nuance of BDSM terminology is important to understand that a “submissive” is a woman of free will who gives over control of her body for a period of time to a Dom and a “slave” is a woman of free will who chooses to give over control over her body, mind and soul for 24/7 to serve her Master.

Preparing Herself...

Preparing Herself…

My forte within Sensual Domination (no or little pain Domination) is contrasting Caressing, Sensual Oil Massage, Sensual Kissing, Orgasm Denial, Forced Multiple Orgasms, Forced Squirting and Impact Play (spanking, flogging, cane). I choose to use both Sensual Domination techniques along with the impact play techniques of Sadism to heighten the sexual response of a sub. I use an Extreme Pleasure technique for Domination by which I overwhelm a woman with sensory stimulation and multi-orgasmic pleasure to overload the nervous system and to triggers mind-blowing sexual release. This article is about how subs prepare themselves during their daily routine at home and at work for Domination sessions with me.

My training objectives for my submissive/babygirl is to make her an extremely sexually responsive woman who is multi-orgasmic and a multi-squirter. My second training objective is to be on her mind throughout her day, wherever she may be so she feels constantly possessed and consumer by me. My ultimate objective is to train a sub to achieve Cum-on-Command via a visual signal, verbal command or via text message to her mobile, to achieve an instant orgasm without any physical sexual contact.

Daily Routine:

  • Before leaving her home every day, she must be wearing an item of ownership (necklace, bracelet, anklet, choker, or ring) that reminds her constantly of Master. The item must be worn in plain sight in public for other to see.
  • Before leaving for work in the morning, she must text me a photo of her outfit. This is not to control her wardrobe in anyway but to be able to compliment her on how sexy and beautiful she looks at the beginning of her day. Every morning she receives a text at 7AM wishing her good morning and every night at 11PM she receives a text wishing her sweet dreams.
  • At lunch, she must perform 100 Kegel exercises at her desk then text me about her day.
  • Every day after work, when she changes out of her work clothes, she must insert the Ben Wa balls into her pussy and wear them until bedtime. She must wear the ben wa balls for all social, exercise, yoga or work out activities.
  • Every night before bedtime, BabyGirl must masturbate until she cums 3-5 times.
  • Whenever BabyGirl masturbates, she must first insert a butt plug in her ass, insert Ben Wa balls into her pussy and wear nipples clamps (with bells) on her breasts. (All sex toys provided by Master)

Weekly Events & Special Occasions:

  • Thursdays are “Naked Chef Night”. BabyGirl will prepare dinner wearing only one of Master’s white dress shirt, thigh-high black stockings and 4-5″ high heels or boots. Master will be greeted with a glass of red wine and a 3-minute kiss.
  • Fridays are “I’m Master’s Dirty Slut @Work” day which means she must masturbate in the washroom at work after lunch then insert the Ben Wa balls in her pussy for the remainder of the day. She must text a photo of her masturbating at work as proof.
  •  BabyGirl must always wear a wirelessly controlled We-Vibe vibrator in her pussy to all public social functions (family events, work events, social events with friends, dinners out, orchestra/theater, charity galas, movie theaters, sporting events, etc). Before leaving for an event, BabyGirl will kneel in the living room to present the remote controller to Master and then present her naked pussy with the We-Vibe  inserted in her pussy for inspection by Master while lying in the dining table.

Preparations for a Domination Session:

  • BabyGirl is NOT allowed to touch or pleasure herself in any way for 3 days before we meet in person.
  • Within 72 hours before BabyGirl will see Master, she will go to the spa for a facial, mani/pedi, massage and waxing. (All expenses covered by Master)
  • On the day that BabyGirl will see Master, she will insert the Ben Wa balls into her pussy at work at noon then wear them until we meet in person after work.
  • 1-4 hours prior to meeting, BabyGirl will prepare herself for anal sex (Evacuation, multiple enemas to douche, then insertion of jeweled anal butt plug.).
  •  BabyGirl will always meet Master in public with Ben Wa balls or a wireless vibe inserted in her pussy and her jeweled butt plug in her ass.
  • Before meeting Daddy, BabyGirl will always insert two fingers deep into her pussy then spread her plentiful juices onto her lips to greet Daddy with a passionate kiss.

Standards of Behavior:

  • BabyGirl will always refer to Master as Sir, Daddy or Master in private
  • BabyGirl is not allowed to wear bras or panties at home with Master (without children or family around).
  • BabyGirl must always greet Daddy in public in a short skirt or dress with stockings or tight jeans & high heels.
  • BabyGirl must always greet Daddy wearing red lip gloss, french nails, red toes, sparkling jewelry (earrings, bracelet, choker), and a silk ribbon in her hair.

Sensual Rituals as a Kinky Couple ( for every session):

  • Before every session, Daddy and BabyGirl will shower or bathe together to reconnect emotionally as a couple and to symbolically prepare ourselves for each other.
  • Before every session, scented candles will be lit to provide soft lighting and music will be selected to set the appropriate ambiance for the session (sensual or pounding or both).
  • Before every session, BabyGirl will present herself to Daddy completely naked, with only her high heels on.
  • Daddy will then slowly apply lotion or massage oils to every inch of BabyGirl’s body so every nerve ending in her body is aroused and her body feels soft and sensual to touch. After each limb is massaged with lotion or oils, Daddy will attach a restraint to each wrist or ankle. The final step is where BabyGirl stands naked in front of Daddy then he slowly kisses his way up her neck then whispers in her ear what he has planned for her during the session then places his collar and leash on her neck.
  • After every session when BabyGirl is completely exhausted and her body is spasming from intense orgasms, Daddy will hold and caress her trembling body until she recovers. (Refer to Sensual AfterCare)
  • After BabyGirl recovers from the session, she will clean Daddy and BabyGirl’s bodies with a warm wet towels then feed Daddy (fruits, cheeses, charcuterie, water or wine).

Rules for Sharing BabyGirl with others:

  • When being shared with others (men, women or couples), BabyGirl with ALWAYS be wearing Daddy’s collar with bell, leash and his jeweled anal butt plug in her ass. This is to symbolize that BabyGirl is always owned by Daddy even when she is being fucked by others.
  • BabyGirl will not kiss other men on the mouth. That intimate act is exclusively reserved for Daddy. However, BabyGirl may kiss any woman she desires in public or in private, with or without Daddy’s presence.
  • BabyGirl will not have anal sex with other men or women. That intimate act is exclusively reserved for Daddy.
  • When BabyGirl is being shared with other men, Daddy will always be present to keep her physically safe, to ensure her emotional safety and to encourage her sluttiest behaviour.
  • When BabyGirl is being shared with women, Daddy only needs to be informed of BabyGirl’s plans in advance and then all the details of her sexual encounter are to be shared with Daddy upon returning home.

If this article raises questions in your mind, please post a comment for me. I always look forward to discussing these ideas with like-minded people. Please feel free comment or “LIKE” or “SHARE” this article. If you want to stay informed of future writings, please subscribe to email notifications or Twitter updates.



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94 comments on “My Training Rules for Submissives & Babygirls

  1. Pingback: Preparing Herself for Master…. | DominantSoul

  2. I plan to put this article in my Doms reading material….I hope he takes the hint 🙂

  3. I’m going to tell you ‘why’ I like this post: Because the Dom is taking responsibility and providing everything that the sub needs to execute these rules….
    Great job and great example of a Dom ‘Manning up,’ or in this case ‘Domming up!’

  4. It is a lot of caring and preparing you want from her. Pleasing and serving can lead to the most beautiful rewards she could imagine. To give all of yourself to one person is a gift that should be treasured, honored and kept safe. She truly thinks of you 24/7 with your tasks. Not sure how she works she must find it hard to concentrate and drink a lot of water….

  5. This certainly makes me wish I could wiggle my way into your life somehow.
    Mind you I’m still a baby to bdsm so it is also a little intimidating.
    I do realize you probably work your sub/babygirl up to that point.
    Love your blog!
    Diva Cee

  6. I have been looking for examples of rules for the sub I am fairly new to the lifestyle and I am trying to find what others use as base rules for their subs. This is very helpful and I will use a few on my own

  7. I have been researching online for a few months now so I can understand the desires and feelings overwhelming me lately. Your post describing Alpha Subs provided an “Ah Ha” moment for me. I related to what wrote on so many levels. After reading this post I am even more convinced of my true nature I have supressed and envious of the freedom your Dominant Soul provides for the subs in your life. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and helping me see my path clearer with your words.

  8. I am an intelligent woman and relish any puzzles I can solve. This has made the “discovery” of my nature a pleasure however implementing this new found understanding requires behaviors I am lacking. How does an alpha sub learn to turn of the alpha so the other side of her nature can flourish under the care it requires?

      • I would love to but how does a person live the lifestyle with children around? Not to mention when a person works in a preschool. Also I cant find a dom close around that doesnt seem exactly like a creepo.

        • As adults, we make time for ourselves on weekends and our bedroom has a lock on on.

          We all have public professional lives. What we do with other consenting adults in our bedroom is a private matter and no one else’s business.

          Finding the right Dom for yourself is a big challenge. Knowing who you are and what you want is key starting point. My partner found me on I look for 8 years after my divorce yo find her but the first 2 years were spent alone, getting to know myself again. In the process i dated many women who were sexual submissive, all from Match. Each failed relationship taught me something about what I really needed in a partner and how to be a better partner also. It’s a journey of discovery and learning. There is magic bullet.


  9. I have been on match before and there are some really decent people on there but it seems like the ones close were kinda creepy. I will just have to keep searching as you said you did and I am sure I will find a wonderful dom. I would love for him to follow your training and rules. You have set those up absolutely superb!

    • When you find a Dom you think could be “the One”, please feel free to share this article with him in person. Have him read it with you and then gauge his reaction afterwards… Some will hate it and some will love it… Their face will tell you all you need to know.

    • I would suggest you don’t do that… As a Dom, you will come across as way too demanding for any new submissive who does not know you and it will scare them away.

      Remember: I have slowly built up to the level of trust with my submissive over a long time. Trust and intimacy are the foundation for these Dom rules. Build your foundations slowly by being consistent in all your words and actions.

  10. I love my husband. But the one thing he absolutely hates is my need to be submissive in bed. Sounds funny to some, but giving up that need is submissive, i submit to his likes. But i give a lot of blowjobs, because he likes it and i can feel submissive.

    Reading your list sounds like a sweet small piece of heaven. thank you for creating it. Gets me all wet and happy, thinking about the joy your submissive feels.

    You have really hit alot of truths on your site. I am one of the Alpha females who want to be submissive, letting go of that control in my private life, while retaining my strength in my public life. Thank you again and again and again

  11. Hey there great site. I’ve been reading sub/dom erotica forever it seems and engaged in role play but I’ve struggled sexually and emotionally to find a match. I’m a powerful woman… owned successful businesses been a CEO etc etc. Men are either too intimidated or too abusive. I need a sensual dom… for certain.

    I have a Masters in curriculum and instruction so I’m not impressed easily. Great resource if I ever get the nerve to make a sub resource site you are in. If I ever really get the nerve to create my dream site for adventures in sex you are in.

    Thanks again.
    Ms Naughty Nite

  12. I think my new Master Daddy is working toward slowly training me in this manner. (We are both limited in our time together because we are building our relationship outside of our vanilla marriages.) I’ve not been collared (we have only been face-to-face 3 times since we met this past November). We IM every morning and every night. I think of my Master Daddy all the time. I am so looking forward to the blossoming of our relationship over time. As my Daddy says, wearing his collar is forever.

  13. I am new to this scene and meeting my sensual Dom for the first time. He has assigned me to “think about the way I will greet him” as the slutty sub I want to be for him. I so crave your advice in ways to greet him, with the knowledge that this is my very first time ever attempting such a thing. I have been told what to wear already and must be clean and smooth 🙂

    • I have my sub dress in heels and stockings wearing her wrist and ankle restraints and her collar/leash. She is sitting on the edge of the bed with her legs spread wide open with her palms facing up on her thighs. I hope this helps you… DS

  14. Pingback: Jei tu būsi mano vergė. Taisyklės. | MakeBDSM

  15. Very informative. I am new to the life style but have always been a submissive I have been trying to navigate this new life style and find what would best suit me as a sub. I never had a Dom before but after reading this i know that sensual domination would be perfect for me… Thank you

  16. This is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I have been increasingly interested in BDSM for around 2-3 years now. I have watched BDSM porn with my wife a few times, and it turns her on, she likes to be dominated and is submissive in the bedroom, adhering to my commands. That being said we have a vanilla relationship, the BDSM stuff is only recent in the last few months as a bit of fun to spice it up (life/kids//bills/work etc can get in the way of making time for each other). However i want to progress to a full time D/s relationship and needed guidance on baseline rules and protocals that can be implimented gradually and this was exactly what i have been searching for, so for your time and words, thank you. Could you advise me on how i would approach suggesting the lifestyle with my wife, and how we can work it around only seeing each other 2 nights a week (she works days i work nights) and have kids, she is also currently pregnant? Many thanks

    • In a similar situation as you Logan, except I’ve been involved in bdsm relationships throughout my life. After a few months together, she finally came out as having the inner desire to be a little. There was enough in this relationship that I could have lived without the formality, but for her to open up her virgin dark side to me was further proof I knew she was worth it.

      Like you, it’s a matter of having enough time. She has kids and a majority of our time has been family focused. By the time we get some adult time, we passionately take advantage of it trying to finish before being interrupted. For some reason I hadn’t even thought of giving her direction for times we are apart. She’s already very attentive, a great mother, keeps the house very nice.

      I really like the communication rituals mentioned. They are very in tune with what a submissive responses to, instead of the emphasis on punishment I read in so many blogs. Don’t get me wrong, punishment is an important element, but if that’s the cornerstone of a relationship or constantly necessary, it gets exhausting to the dominant. I liken it with how it was raising my own kids.. I didn’t choose to have kids to punish them, I raised them to respect the rules and to take accountability for their choices. I didn’t enjoy punishment, because of the feelings of disappointment that accompanied it, however, I was consistent and clear all along with what was unacceptable behaviour and the consequences.

      This blog was excellent at giving me the missing piece in my developing relation. I wish the best for yours too bro 🙂

  17. We go a little differently, whenever we meet I should be virtually invisible, a dark baggy hoody and boot leg jeans. he doesn’t like other guys looking at me he also likes to lead me back to his house by pulling my hoodie strings. or simply taking my hand. If I came from a sports event he’ll carry me and gently stoke my hair. I’ll usually fall asleep in his arms and I’ll wake up with him asleep holding me by my waist and I’ll wake him softly and the night will go on as planned. But I get sore from sports easily so he is always completely gentle and if I feel to tired than I can sleep and he can still screw me…

  18. I am having a hard time coming up with a set of rules and punishments for my sub… this is my first D/s relationship and i dont want to go over board nor be to lenient please help

  19. (stifled laughter) NO WONDER! XD This is where my dom got like half my rules XD Just change work to class and those are my rules and my animalistic rules:

    I have to always act cat like when I see him for 5 minutes..


    letting him dominate me with cat ears on.. (They were blue now theyre white -.-)

  20. I am truly appreciative that there are blogs like yours on the web…

    I am completely new to this world, although I have fantasized about being dominated by my sexual partner for a number of years… I just wasn’t sure how to introduce my long-term boyfriend to the idea. Thanks to your blog, I at least have somewhere to start! So thank you!

  21. So…your ideas sounds great…and really sexy >-< But I think I am really new to this all, and it is really scary. Do you have a more of a beginner's guide to starting…from completely blank?
    I ask this because I have really wanted a D/S relationship but every time my…other half tries to do something with me, I back out and becomes scared. But I know I am not vanilla at all, and I love being dominated! how to start? please help!

  22. Dear DS,
    Beautiful article, thank you! Just love all the details and the level of perfection. It must be a blessing to experience and develop one’s submissive side with you. Seems very difficult / impossible to find a man with so much passion for sensual domination. Where do I apply? 🙂 your admirer from Norway

  23. Me and my daddy are very close an i love my daddy. But I want to make my daddy the happiest daddy in the world. Can you tell me how to get over being scared when my daddy wants to try new things to me. An how do i get over being scared of a buttplug. An what all can I do to please my daddy in every way shape and form.

    • There’s a simple process to lowly train a sub for anal butt plugs – start small then get bigger – a finger then small anal vibe then a small dildo then a butt plug..

      The other issues you raised are best answered by your Master.

      Good luck,

  24. Hi thank you for existing I’m so glad I’ve found you.
    I have a question
    I met a Dom. My first and only one who I went all the way through. I feel like I’m his. I feel trapped. I like him very much. He doesn’t want to kiss me. I have to deserve his kisses, he said. What does that mean? I don’t get his point of view. He doesn’t tell me what I need to do in order to earn his kisses.
    Or does he have a Dom himself?
    Thank you

    • I believe kissing is being used as an emotional intimacy reward. He appears to be withholding intimacy until you perform certain tasks worthy of his kisses. Ask him how you could become worthy….DS

    • While I am not part of a dom/sub relationship, I am pretty confident that a lot of the reason that the relationships work is that there is a good amount of communication. Even when expanding boundaries there is a mutual understanding between a dom and sub. If your dom is not communicating with you it becomes a little more like an abusive relationship than the great relationship that dom/subs can be. If it is an intimacy award then you should have been told what you need to earn it.

  25. I hope I find this level of commitment and structure. Thank you for writing this post, so very beautiful.

  26. Hi DominantSoul
    I liked this post of yours and your tasks rules and stuff
    Is it possible for us to speak in private pls? I need your advices and experties as soon as possible.
    Thankyou in advance

  27. I found this article very enticing, I have always been interested but only recently started my search for dd. I’ve read several of your blogs and I truly thank you for the vital information.

  28. I dream of experiencing a relationship like this. The women in your life are so lucky! I have read your article many times. Very hard to find in reality.

  29. Pingback: My Training Rules for Submissives & Babygirls – Darkest Sins

  30. I enjoy almost 100% of this. My only wondering/curiosity is regarding the parameters and limitations around playing with others. Mainly in the way it feels gendered. Maybe this is just the nature of a D/s relationship? No other men unless approved by you… but women are okay to the point that Babygirl doesn’t even have to ask?
    I am a Cisfemale, who highly enjoys submission to men. Simultaneously I identify a feminist. I work regularly to find a balance within the two. I’d be interested to hear more from you.

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